By Caitlin Flynn
If the laws of the jungle were in effect during March Madness, then our NCAA Tournament bracket selections would have been a perfect 16-0 after Thursday. But, alas, the men's basketball tourney likes to decide its winner by playing games on the court with actual human players.
We couldn't disagree more, but we'll settle for going 9-7 picking games on the opening day simply going by the power of the mascot. You can check out our Thursday mascot game picks here and our Friday mascot game picks here.
While the NCAA might not listen to us in determining how to determine a winner for each game, we'll continue with our own version of bracket selections with Saturday's games below. And, heck, if Middle Tennessee can beat Michigan State, anything can and will happen.
No. 11 Wichita State
vs. No. 3 Miami
Miami Hurricanes: The Shockers will be electrified before the second half even begins. The strong, driving wind and flooding rain, in concert with the relentless lightning, will "shock" the Shockers into submission.
No. 12 Yale
vs. No. 4 Duke
Duke Blue Devils: I've met a bunch of bad men, handy men, tough men and fighting men, but I've never seen the dominance of the Duke Blue Devils and Coach K. Wild Bill, Billy the Kid, Geronimo and Custer ... put all four together and you may achieve the capability and ruthlessness of the Blue Devil. It will be a tough afternoon for Handsome Dan, even after a tremendous upset for Yale in Round 1.
No. 5 Indiana
vs. No. 4 Kentucky
Kentucky Wildcats: A Hoosier is just a man from Indiana, or an adorable stuffed beaver-like teddy bear from the bookstore. Either way, they cannot outrun a Wildcat. More likely, the Hoosier will be a lovely midwestern meal for the Wildcats.
No. 12 AR-Little Rock
vs. No. 4 Iowa State
Iowa State Cyclones: Unless the Trojans can spout some wings to survive being sucked up by the Cyclones, the Trojans will be decimated. On a positive note, FEMA and the Red Cross are already on stand-by in Little Rock!
No. 9 Butler
vs. No. 1 Virginia
Virginia Cavaliers: The notorious "Wah-woo-Wah" cheer of the Cavs will inevitably distract the Bulldogs and lead to their demise. The origin of the "Wah-hoo-Wah" chant is a mystery, but in the end, it will confuse any dog, and me.
No. 9 Connecticut
vs. No. 1 Kansas
Kansas Jayhawks: Being a Connecticut native and a dog lover, I want to predict a Huskies victory, however, I just cannot. If the Jayhawk can play a clean game and keep the No. 1 free throw team off the line, Kansas and the Jayhawks will soar to an easy victory over UConn and the Huskies.
No. 11 Gonzaga
vs. No. 3 Utah
Utah Swoop: The speed and cunning capabilities of Swoop will lead to an easy victory over the Bulldogs. Gonzaga Bulldogs tend to have a good defense and were able to slowly, and eventually, move to the second round, but that strategy will not work against Swoop. The speed and energy will be too much for the Zags.
No. 9 Providence
vs. No. 1 North Carolina
North Carolina Tar Heels: This isn't even a competition. Providence Friars should just go home now. North Carolina Tar Heels will pummel the Friars through the court. They will be stampeded into submission. The only strategy I can suggest to the Friars is to dress up like clowns to distract the Ramses, as they do in bull riding competitions across the country. Even if you can stay on for eight seconds, the bull always wins in the end and the clowns go running away, all the way home.